I have a friend who grew tired of repeatedly battling his daughter at bedtime. So he and his wife agreed to let her call the shots.  

Now, they read her a story, say goodnight and leave the room. She might draw for a while or play with her toys before eventually taking herself off to bed, on her terms. 

Is this how bedtime is supposed to work? 

No. 

Or what about another friend who lets his daughter watch the iPad while he brushes her teeth? ‘It’s the only way I’ve found that prevents a battle,' he says. 

But screen time in the bathroom first thing and before bed? Surely not. 

Then again, if it works, why not lean into it?  Because not every piece of parenting advice works for everyone. 

And sometimes we become so focused on the task in front of us, we forget what we’re actually trying to achieve. 

The goal isn’t to win bedtime, it’s to help a child settle themselves to sleep. Nor is it to navigate teeth brushing without a screen; it’s to get them to clean their damn teeth! 

We’re in this job for the long haul: raising our children who won’t stay children for very long and who will increasingly need to make more and more decisions for themselves, solve their own problems and discover solutions that work for them. 

And that starts now. 

The other day, I caught my son out of bed after I’d said goodnight. He was rounding up all his Buzz Lightyear toys and positioning them around his room, forming a perimeter.  

He was scared. So he took the necessary security precautions to protect himself from enemies, and the solution he landed on was to establish a Buzz Lightyear-based defence system. 

I left him to it.  

He was asleep ten minutes later.  

Conventional parenting wisdom might be an excellent place to start. But sometimes we need to improvise. And sometimes, solutions that shouldn’t work, work. 

Because if it works, it works.