Another great question to ask children that I picked up from Ron Lieber’s The Opposite of Spoiled is, ‘Why do you ask?’

As long as it’s said in a way that isn’t defensive or confrontational, and is instead encouraging, then asking ‘why do you ask’ in response to your child’s question has three advantages.

First, you buy yourself some time to construct a response. It’s a stalling tactic – though I have yet to find a worthy answer to why a fly is flying around in a particular flight pattern.

Second, it improves the odds of your child divulging the reason for the question in the first place. Perhaps there’s a source of anxiety lurking beneath the surface, something they’ve seen or overheard at school, and they want more information. Their initial question might not tell you that. But by asking ‘Why do you ask,’ you’re probing, improving the odds of reaching the heart of the question.

Finally, this line of questioning will help your child develop their communication skills and help them to work through their emotions.

If you want the right answers, you need to ask the right questions.

‘Why do you ask?’