I was out walking with the baby recently when I overheard a man in his twenties say to his mum, ‘Mum, you’ve got to let me figure out this stuff on my own.’ 

This man was an adult, yet his mum was trying to protect him as if he were still five years old.  

Then I realised that what I overheard could well be a premonition of my wife’s and my future if we’re not careful. Because we will never stop being parents, we’ll always care for our boys, even when they’re not boys. 

And we want to guide them, help them make the right decisions, protect them – do everything we possibly can to ensure their happiness remains constant. 

But that’s impossible. And even if it weren’t, we would be placing them at a huge disadvantage if we acted in that way, because human beings need to make sense of their experiences to grow, and part of that process involves living with unpleasant emotions.  

If we’re always there to think for them, how will they learn to think for themselves? 

It’s excruciatingly painful, but we need our children to face difficult decisions, to embrace the hard times instead of hiding from them under the safety of whatever blanket we’re desperate to offer. 

They will be better for it, equipped with resilience and everything else they need to go out into the world and live the lives they want. 

But only if we let them. 

Sometimes, you’ve got to allow them to figure this stuff out on their own.