I once read that you can accept advice from anyone you choose, but you should first understand why they are giving it before acting on it.
Because advice is neither neutral nor objective.
Let’s imagine someone advises you to take a steady corporate job instead of starting a business. Good advice? Maybe. Maybe not. It depends ...
Perhaps that person tried to start their own business, but it failed spectacularly, leaving them with a scar that influenced their world view.
The reason advice is neither neutral nor objective is that it’s autobiographical. Opinions have been moulded. Experience is nothing but a long line of footprints in the sand.
Now, imagine you’re the one giving advice. This time to your children.
When you tell them not to climb too high up a tree, is it a rational concern for their safety, or is a childhood memory of you falling replaying in your mind?
This is why reflection is key. When advising our children, or anyone for that matter, we should back up and ask ourselves: ‘Is this sound advice, or is this just my story fighting to be heard?’
Before giving advice, ask yourself:
- Who am I protecting – them or me?
- Would I give them this same advice if my past experiences were different?
- Am I teaching them to be safe or to be afraid?
When we hand our children a map, let’s make sure it is a map and not a ledger full of old scars.
