Andrew Stanton, the man who came up with the plot of Finding Nemo, talks about the inspirations for the film, including the realisation that fear can prevent a good dad from being just that – a good dad.  

Stanton says: ‘When my son was five, I remember taking him to the park. I had been working long hours and felt guilty about not spending enough time with him. As we were walking, I was experiencing all this pent-up emotion and thinking, “I miss you, I miss you,” but I spent the whole walk going, “Don’t touch that. Don’t do that. You’re gonna fall in there.” And there was a third-party voice in my head saying, “You’re completely wasting the entire moment that you’ve got with your son right now.” I became obsessed with the premise that fear can deny a good father from being one. With that revelation, all the pieces fell into place, and we ended up with our story.’ 

I’ve been to the place that Andrew talks about. Many times. I can feel the state of my body physically altering from being present in the moment with my kids to being on guard, in defence formation, ready to step in and protect them from non-existent threats.  

Of course, there are times when we need to protect our children from real danger. But often, we’re stepping in to protect them, not from danger but from imagined danger that doesn’t exist outside our minds.  

It takes patience and reflection to understand the difference. And it takes self-forgiveness when you get it wrong.