When I collect my son at the end of the day from the nursery, I might ask him a question from this list:

• Have you played a lot today?
• Have you been kind to everybody?
• Did you ask anyone for help?
• Have you helped anyone?
• Did anything happen that made you sad or happy?

And more recently,

• Did you ask a good question today? (Hat tip to Ron Lieber and his book,The Opposite of Spoiled, for that insight)

While my son’s answers are important, and I’m generally curious to hear what he has to say, that’s not the main focus of this exercise. I do this to reinforce key messages that I want him to exhibit – behaviours that will, one day, hopefully, form part of his DNA.

When I ask him if he’s played a lot, of course, his answer will be yes; he’s three! But one day, he won’t be three. One day he’ll grow up, get a ‘proper job,’ and have responsibilities. He won’t have time for trivialities such as play. Unless I subconsciously plant the seed that teaches him never to stop playing games.

The other questions are designed in the same way. I want him to be kind, I want him to hang out with kind people, and I want him to help others and know that it’s OK to ask for help. I also want him to learn how to process his emotions.

You can’t prevent the rain, but you can invest in a decent rain jacket that lasts a lifetime!