I was listening to an interview with a comedian once (Jim Jefferies, I believe). He explained that during a tour, his material changes and evolves each night. When he performs the final leg, it’s unrecognisable from the first.
I’ve since learnt that’s par for the course in comedy.
That got me thinking about the different phases of parenthood. We separate everything into stages, but it’s not as simple as that. Children evolve incrementally each day, and the many stages of their development overlap, meaning it’s hard to keep track.
This makes memory recall difficult. It’s why it’s so important to document your children’s development. Yes, I love to bang on about parents being present with their kids, which often means leaving phones out of reach. But, I’m a big believer in capturing your children’s lives so you have them to look back on in the years to come, undistorted by unreliable memory.
Most parents understand this. They’re great at taking pictures and videos (actually, less so videos – take more videos, especially of your baby!), but in my experience, many forget to write things down.
Which is a shame because the written word complements the photos and videos.
Here are some things I believe parents should write down:
Milestones: walking, sitting, potty training, riding a bike, starting school – anything that gives you that extra jolt of parenthood pride beyond what you feel for them on any given day. Some will be unexpected. The first time my son crossed the road without holding my or his mother’s hand was a big deal for me. I can’t explain why; it just got me with the feels.
Mispronounced words and phrases (trust me, this is an adorable investment you’ll thank me you made in the years to come).
Birthdays and Christmases. What are the highlights (or lowlights) that can’t be captured by photo or video? By the way, today’s parenthood lowlights might be viewed differently in the years to come.
Logic. Has your child tried to connect the dots about how the world works but either got it hopelessly wrong or got it right in the most charming way possible? My son once told me not to sit on his soft toy monkey. Otherwise, I’d turn it into a circle. I quickly realised that ‘circle’ was his way of saying I’d flatten his monkey. Remarkable, really, don’t you think?
Artwork. Dates any pieces of artwork your children create and where they were made.
Their weight and height at least once a year. At home, we measure my son twice yearly, and we always weigh him around his birthday.
Is there anything I’ve missed from that list? If there is, let me know.
PS: I wrote an article that you might enjoy reading: ‘Why I Write To My Son Each Day’; it complements today’s Lessons in Dadding post.
