Part of my job as an author who writes books on parenthood is attending baby fairs.
I was at an event recently when a woman approached me. I was about to run with my book pitch from the top, but she cut me off before I could begin.
‘Oh, I’m not pregnant – I’m not even a parent,’ she said. ‘I’m here scoping the place out. I have an exhibitor stand for one of these events in a few weeks. I’ve never done one before, so I thought I’d check one out. I’m Fiona, by the way,’
‘Nice to meet you, Fiona. What is it you do?’
‘I’m an estate planner. I specialise in wills, trusts and probate services – not exactly an easy sell when you’re coming to a baby event made up mostly of expectant parents.’
She wasn’t wrong. Since the release of my book on pregnancy, Dear Dory: Journal of a Soon-to-be First-time Dad, I’ve attended many of these fairs and spoken to hundreds (probably thousands at this point) of expectant parents. They broadly fall into three categories:
- Nervous and overwhelmed about impending parenthood and how much they don’t know.
- Suspicious of anyone looking to engage them in conversation because they know they’re about to be sold to.
- Excited and displaying elated animation about meeting their baby for the first time.
‘You’ve got all these excited parents and small-business owners selling beautiful-looking products, and then you’ve got me with “Hi, can I interrupt the lovely day you’re having to talk about death.”’
I don’t envy Fiona. It’s a hard sell. No one wants to think about death at the best of times, least of all when you’re expecting – pregnancy is a celebration of life.
Nonetheless, it’s a subject that demands attention and, if it’s not in place already, action! So, I invited Fiona onto the blog to chat about why it’s critical that parents and expectant parents – if they haven’t done so already – make hiring an estate planner a top priority.
UK Legal Limbo
First, some UK legal terminology.
- Will. A last will and testament is a legal document that communicates your final wishes pertaining to your estate when you die.
- Estate. All the money and property that you own. For example, your home, car, shares and any cash.
- Probate. The general administration of a deceased person’s estate (assuming they have an estate to distribute).
- Trust. An arrangement of people (trustees) who looks after an estate (or part of an estate) for one or more beneficiaries until such time as the responsibility falls to them; for instance, when they reach adulthood.
- Intestacy. When someone dies without a valid will, their estate is distributed according to specific rules. These are known as the rules of intestacy.
Now, let’s see what Fiona has to say …
In Conversation with Fiona Morgan
(TK) Why is it important for people, particularly parents and soon-to-be parents, to ensure they have a will in place?
(FM) Everyone should have a will, particularly parents and soon-to-be parents. If you don’t, someone from the courts decides what happens to your estate and potentially your children when you die, which might not be what you would have wanted.
And that’s intestacy, right? That sucks.
That’s right. And yes, it does suck. When preparing for your baby’s arrival or when you have young children, you do everything you can to ensure they are protected and loved. But having a will in place is, unfortunately, often overlooked. People assume it’s something they should do when they’re older or nearing retirement. That decision to delay writing a will can have tragic consequences.
Let’s talk about those consequences.
As I said, without a will, the law decides what happens to your estate after you die. This can take a long time, causing stress and expense to your loved ones.
It might also mean your estate isn’t distributed how, and to whom, you wanted. That’s bad enough, but it gets worse. If both parents die, leaving behind children under eighteen, the children are placed in the care system while the court decides who should look after them. Again, this takes time, it can be very costly, and, finally, the courts could choose someone different from whom you wanted to look after your children.
[TK: that's worth highlighting again: ‘‘the courts could choose someone different from whom you wanted to look after your children”.]
WOW!
I know, right?
I find legal language baffling and scary. How do you navigate the disorientating sea of jargon, unpronounceable words and confusing terminology?
Wills are now written in sensible English and should be readable. A good estate planner will explain every clause so that you understand everything, and they’ll lay out all of your options, guiding you through the entire process and ensuring nothing is left out.
What are some pitfalls that you should look out for?
A DIY will doesn’t allow for many of the provisions included within a standard will; for example, choosing a guardian (or guardians) to look after your children should the worst happen.
But how would people know? If you’re a parent setting up a will for the first time, how would you know to check what provisions are and aren’t available, like choosing a guardian? Is it best to research the pros and cons of a particular company offering DIY wills, or just bypass them and find a reputable estate planner?
I would always recommend a reputable estate planner. The saying ‘you don’t know what you don’t know’ springs to mind. Estate planners undergo a lot of training to ensure they cover everything you need to know to make an informed decision. And a good estate planner will stay in the loop of any changes affecting their clients.
Let’s say a parent chooses a DIY-will option but writes a note with instructions on who they want to look after their children if they die. Would the courts honour that?
Most likely, the courts would honour the request. But while they’re deciding, costs increase, and your children are still at risk of moving into the care system and away from their support network at a distressing and upsetting time. And there are always exceptions. It’s not guaranteed they would honour anything that fell outside of a properly prepared will.
Any other DIY-will red flags?
With a DIY will, there’s no option to get advice and discuss your options. Home ownership and business ownership, in particular, need to be considered carefully.
Good point. And you’ve just reminded me that I do, in fact, need to update my will. I’m an author; my family wouldn’t know what to do with my books or other business matters. What should I do?
For businesses and wills, there are lots of variables. Are you self-employed? Is yours a limited company? Who would you ultimately want to benefit? Would that person be able to run the company, or would someone else need to do that?
Some insist the company is sold on their death and the proceeds split. Your estate planner will discuss all your options and the pros and cons of each.
My estate planner spent a long time explaining how critical it was to ensure that shared ownership of a house should be legally arranged. If it’s not done right, that too can have painful consequences for those we leave behind. What can you tell me about that?
Most people don’t realise there are two ways to own a home with someone else: joint tenants or tenants in common. Joint tenancy is the typical arrangement; ownership passes entirely to the other person when the first owner dies. This is irrelevant of what’s in the owner’s will.
Tenants in common is where you sever the joint tenancy and both own (usually) 50% of the home each, meaning you can leave your half to whomever you wish in the event of your death. You can also give each other the right to live in the property until the second person dies. And then, when the second person passes, each share of the property is distributed under the terms of each will. What’s right for you will depend on your personal circumstances.
Gotcha. So, a ‘tenants in common’ arrangement is a good way to protect your children. Otherwise, if I died, and my partner got married and then died, my house could, in theory, go to her new partner rather than my kids, right?’
Exactly!
Have there been any recent changes in the law that affect wills?
The Wills Act was written in 1837 and has only undergone minor updates since. The law still favours married couples, making it even more important to have a will for couples who aren’t married, particularly when they have children or own a property together.
That’s interesting. I have a will, but I’m not married. What would that mean if I didn’t have a will and I died?
Unmarried couples don’t inherit under the laws of intestacy, meaning your estate would most likely go to your next of kin and not your partner. I’ve seen the devastating effects of this happening. Partners are left homeless or without enough money to raise their children alone.
Would this happen even though I’ve left instructions in my will, which was arranged by a financial planner and is not a DIY will?
You are protected if you have a will that includes your unmarried partner. The terms of your will would be honoured.
Phew! What should people be on the lookout for when instructing an estate planner?
It’s essential to find someone who understands your personal circumstances so that they can give the best advice. Will-writing isn’t regulated, even when done by a solicitor, so I always recommend using a member of The Society of Will Writers. This means they comply with their code of conduct and are safe to do business with.
As part of their membership, members of the Society of Will Writers attend regular continued professional development to stay up to date on current affairs that affect our industry and, by extension, our clients.
I take it you are a member?
Of course.
How would I know if an estate planner is a member of the Society of Will Writers?
You can search for members on their site. Here’s my page. The search function isn’t the most intuitive, so you have to type in the company exactly as it appears. If you can’t find your estate planner’s registration details, then ask them to provide them. Otherwise, I would recommend you look elsewhere for an estate planner who is a member.
Aside from wills, are there any legal precautions you advise parents to consider?
I always recommend speaking to a professional about life insurance. Many people take out cover when they buy a house in case one of the owners dies, but this insurance will only cover the home’s value. It won’t cover the cost of raising children or financially supporting the remaining partner.
It’s also worth checking whether your parents have wills in place and whether they’ve spoken to an estate planner – not a DIY company. Ideally, you don’t want the burden and stress of sorting an estate without a will.
Parent or non-parent – everyone should have a will.
Anything else before we wrap up?
Writing a will isn’t as morbid as people fear. Lots of the parents I speak to feel relief that their wills are in place and their loved ones protected. A will can be updated whenever you wish or when major life events happen, so you don’t need to worry that what you want now might not be what you want in the future. You can update it at any time.
Thanks, Fiona.
In Summary
Have you got a will? No? Then get one. Yes? Great job! But let me ask you this, was it a DIY will? Does it need reviewing by a registered estate planner? Does it need updating? If yes, then you know the drill. Get it done. Protect your loved ones. Rest easy – in this life, and the next!
Fiona Morgan is an estate planner and owner of Morgan Wills & Trusts, and she is a regulated member of the Society of Will Writers. She is passionate about educating people on estate-planning matters and helping them plan for the future. You can find Fiona over at Morgan Wills and Trusts.
[This is NOT a sponsored post, and it contains NO affiliate links.]
